


Bittersweet memories

by NH_Girl_2407 (Corona_2407)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hogwarts, Love, Memories, Romance, dramione - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:16:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corona_2407/pseuds/NH_Girl_2407
Summary: Hermione and Draco meet after years in Diagon Alley and they get tracked there from the past.





	Bittersweet memories

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling.The story I tell here is my own invention, and it is not purported or believed to be part of J.K. Rowling's story canon. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line. I thank J.K. Rowling for writing my always favorite books. Without those, my stories would not exist.
> 
> This is another one of my translations into English. My first language is German. So please keep that in mind while reading and be nice :) Thanks

 

 

 

It's cold. No, it's not just cold in the classic ‘you just put on a thicker sweater -' sense, but really, really uncomfortably frosty. The sort of cold, that brings tears to your eyes, which immediately get caught in your eyelashes as small, unpleasant lumps of ice. I hate this. Not the cold itself, but the fact, that I have to wander around out here in this cold. And all because Blaise's mom insists, like every year, that I show up for dinner with the Zabini’s tomorrow. And like every year, I need a last minute present, a few hours before the shops here in Diagon Alley close. Not that I didn't try to cancel, but even that hasn't worked out a single time in recent years and secretly I've long since given up hope, that someone could spare me at Christmas with all that merry, peaceful holiday crap. The worst are the looks, that are thrown at me all the time, as soon as I once again take part in all the festivities without accompaniment. Also in this year it will not be different and I feel already, as a precaution, very, very sorry for myself.

Since Astoria piled out of our apartment three years ago, with bag and baggage and many unsightly swear words for my person, I have never let a woman into my life again, with the exception of my bed, of course. What's the point? I'm doing great and I just have to talk myself into it long enough, to believe it myself at some point.

Reflexively I pull the collar of my coat a bit higher to protect myself from the cold and then bury my hands deep in my pockets, while I try to get the rest of the way along this narrow alleyway, somewhat accident-free behind me. Everywhere people are still hurrying quickly from shop to shop and not only once would I have almost collided with anyone. Of course it's my own fault, that I show up here on the last day before Christmas, that's already clear to me. Still, I'm annoyed by all of this.

Christmas spirit, my ass!

I push my way through the crowd and am glad that my destination is not exactly in the centre of Diagon Alley, because, like every year I will get the mother of my best buddy a bottle of expensive elf-made wine and the shop is a little off the beaten track here. Maybe I should take several of them right away, just in case. . .

 

_WUMM_

I stumble and can just catch myself, although it was very close, because it is really damn slippery here on the snow-covered cobblestone. The person running into me makes a frightened sound and almost slips, but I get her to grasp her shoulders and just want to get rid of my displeasure at so much clumsiness, when the words get stuck in my throat and my disgruntlement gives way to a feeling somewhere between shock and surprise.

“Granger!” This is less a greeting than a simple statement. I wish I could shoot another mean remark afterwards, just like before, but she looks at me and the second she recognizes me and the surprise is reflected in her beautiful face, it doesn't cross my lips either.

“Draco”

 

 

**_“We keep moving forward,_ **

**_opening up new doors and doing new things,_ **

**_because we're curious..._ **

**_and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”_ **

 

 

 _I_ _hate_ _the_ _annual_ _Christmas_ _dance_. _One_ _might_ _think_ , _that_ _since_ _Dumbledore_ _is_ _no_ _longer_ _with_ u _s,_ _someone_ _would_ _have_ _made_ _sure_ , _that_ _this_ _stupid_ _event_ _was_ _finally_ _done_ _away_ _with_ , b _ut_ _apparently_ _McGonagall_ _is_ _into_ _continuing_ _nonsensical_ _traditions_. _Presumably_ _I_ _should_ _be_ _more_ _melancholic_ _or_ _grateful_ _that_ _I_ _am_ _allowed_ _to_ _experience_ _a_ b _all_ _at_ _all_ , _or_ _anything_ _else_. _I_ _don't_ _know_. _But_ _I_ _know_ , _that_ _I_ u _rgently_ _need_ _a_ _sip_ _of_ _the_ _adulterated_ _punch_ _to_ _survive_ _the_ _evening_.

_“Hey buddy, look at this", Blaise pulls me by the sleeve and directs my attention to the other side of the Great Hall, where Granger just leaves the room in a furious rage and leaves a rather stupid looking Weasley behind, who now hastily turns to his companion to obviously straighten things out again. In the last few weeks it has become Blaise’s and my favorite pastime, to watch Granger and Weasel banging their heads on almost every occasion and the red-haired fool then tries to smooth the waves again afterwards._

_I can barely stand so much stupidity in a pile and I get disgusted when I see him talking to Brown, who is obviously not at all enthusiastic about the fact, that he had a fight with Granger. Seriously, the Weasel deserves this penetrant chick when he's too blind to see the obvious, namely that Granger is jealous. Even Potter seems to have figured that out, although the scarface hangs on his girlfriend most of the time and doesn't really recognize much about the people around him. Apparently, all the Gryffindors have gone a little stupid since the battle. All except Granger, who has just laid down the most beautiful of all exits. “What’s the status now? Twenty to three for Granger, right?", Blaise laughs on my right and I nod absently. “Think so. . .” But for a long time now, I've been somewhere else with my thoughts. I feel a nasty grin spreading across my face and whether out of curiosity or boredom, I can't say, but I follow Granger outside._

“Draco”, she now addresses me directly and I find my shock stiffness back into the here and now, but I can do nothing more, than just look at her. Her hair is a bit shorter than before, but her wild curls still frame her face in the color of dark chestnuts. Despite the fact that more than seven years have passed since I last saw her, hardly anything has changed on her face. Not even the laughter lines in the corner of her eyes have deepened over the years and the moment I realize what I am doing here, I let her go and pull my hands back as if I had burned myself on her.

“Granger!”, I say again and I don't want to come up with anything productive at the moment, because I'm surprised to say the least. . . and maybe a little overwhelmed if I'm honest.

“I think we've been that far.” Her words are followed by a mild smile and a mockingly raised eyebrow, while she looks at me no less conspicuously than I look at her. “What are you doing here?", she wants to know when she takes a step back to bring a proper safety distance between us. Only now I notice the little pile of books in her arm, which she presses on her body like a precious treasure and I smile. I guess some things never change.

“Buying gifts, I think. And yourself?" Merlin, I should go out of my way as quickly as possible, if I want to leave this encounter with some dignity, but it does not seem to throw this encounter anywhere near as off course as it throws me.

“I wanted to get some books quick so I could get over the holidays.” On this statement she just shrugs her shoulders and looks searchingly into the alley behind me. “Are you alone here?"

Is she really asking me that right now? Why does she want to know? She should have noticed, that there is no one in my life right now, after all, Witch Weekly doesn't miss an opportunity to publish new rifts about me, since the failed marriage to Astoria. But the big seller is probably the popular question - including wild speculations - whether there will ever be a new Mrs Malfoy, who will accompany me to all receptions and public appearances in the future. I have often wished to simply sell my father's legacy, Malfoy corp. , and set myself off abroad with the proceeds. If only I'd done that, I wouldn't be stuck in this embarrassing situation with Granger right now.

“Looks like it", I answer, wondering at the same moment whether she is on her way without her red-haired appendage, but refusing to ask and keeping my gaze fixed on her.

“Ah…” Obviously she doesn't know, what further to say and before the situation becomes even more embarrassing for both of us, I decide to get out of here as soon as possible.

“So Granger, then a nice Christmas", I bring out for the sake of politeness and say goodbye with a nod of the head and I am already half past her to continue my way, when she stops me.

“Would you like to have a cup of coffee with me?" I freeze in movement and take a deep breath. I knew it. I knew, the moment I realized who was running into me, that I screwed up. Slowly I turn back in her direction and everything in me resists going out for a cup of coffee with her and digging with one hundred percent certainty in the past, but I can't resist the smile that creeps into my face.

“Sure.”

 

****

****

**_“Do I not destroy my enemies_ **

**_when I make them my friends?”_ **

 

 

_Even as I step through the large castle portal into the snow-covered forecourt, it becomes clear to me, that I shouldn't be here. Admittedly, the thought of humiliating Granger a little more was tempting at first, but seeing her in this condition now, doesn't fit at all with the plan I had in mind. Which plan this had been in detail, however, I also cannot say with certainty._

_She is leaning against the castle wall and is wiping her cheeks with her hand, and I suspect terrible things._

_“Don’t tell me you're crying about Weasley", I mock her as I approach her, but not without keeping a certain distance from her. Who knows what she is capable of in this condition, at least she knows a lot of curses and I am attached to my life. At least a little. She shrugs imperceptibly as she recognizes me. “Malfoy? What are you doing here?" Her voice changes in fractions of a second from suffocated to aggressive and I almost have to smile at this fact._

_“Catch some fresh air", I answer succinctly and reap a glance for it that makes it clear, that she doesn't even believe me at all. I sighed. “I watched you and Weasel and thought I'd see if you'd throw yourself off the next bridge, then at least the evening would have made sense.” Yes, I know it's far - very far - below my level and since the war is over and I have a weird kind of ceasefire with Potter and his sidekicks, that nobody has ever talked about, I haven't attacked Granger that way either. But for now, I'm putting that out of my thoughts._

_“You’re a giant ass, Malfoy. I hope you know that.”_

_“And you cry because of Weasel and not because of me, though“, I counter and can hardly believe that I am grinning and - which is even more incredible - Granger grins too._

It is already dawning when we enter the Leaky Cauldron, but this fact is completely irrelevant, because it is very dark in here anyway. At least the pub hasn't been that shabby, since Abbott took it over a few years ago. I don't come here very often, but every now and then I come here with Blaise, when we are on tour. In addition, all other restaurants, which are already quite sparsely represented in the Diagon Alley, have long since closed and I say goodbye to the idea of being able to get the wine today. Despite the fact that tomorrow is Christmas and therefore today is Christmas Eve, an amazing number of people hang around here. Probably those who have no families and know nothing better to do with themselves. Like me. ‘How tragic’, the ironic voice etches into my head, but I silence it. Which brings me straight to the next question, whether Granger is not expected at home, but I'd rather bite my tongue off than ask her about it.

We find a free table and she gratefully drops her books on it, before she peels herself out of her jacket. In a touch of courtesy I take it and hang it together with my own on the wardrobe next to the door before I sit down with her.

The cold makes her cheeks reddened and she rubs her hands together, probably to defrost them. “Fucking cold out there", she says with a smile and I just nod. I don't know if it was really a good idea, to get involved with this, because since she unexpectedly stumbled at my feet, my thoughts are on a roller coaster and I realize how wrong I was, to think, I could successfully ban Granger from my memories. “Well, how are you? What have you been doing the last few years?", she begins with the chitchat and I am grateful for that. Chitchat is good. No problem. I can handle that.

“Excellent. I mean, business is good and I can't complain about anything else. How about you? I’ve heard you study in the Muggle world?"

“So, you've heard that", she smiles and looks at me with a look, that should make it clear to me, that she knows exactly that I've been keeping an eye on her for the last few years and I wonder whether she's been following my life the same way. I shrug my shoulders and she continues. “Yes, after three years of training as a magical defense lawyer in the Ministry of Magic, I thought I would try the same in the muggle-world, so I'm now studying law. I'll be done in two months.”

She says that with a glitter in her eyes, as if law wasn't incredibly dry and boring, and I laugh softly as I grab one of the gingerbreads standing here on the tables. I'd like to say something in return but the waitress interrupts us and because Granger is ordering a butter beer instead of coffee, I do the same and wonder at the same moment, why fate is throwing me together with her again at Christmas.

 

 

 

**_“Love your enemies,_ **

**_for they tell you your faults.”_ **

 

 

_“Granger, this has already become unbearable for the other people around you, this constant drama.”_

_She snorts and accelerates her steps, but I don't think she even knows where she wants to go. I just watched her get up at the breakfast table in the middle of a heated debate with Weasley and leave the room, and the next moment I find myself at her side. Since our conversation on the evening of the Christmas ball two weeks ago, something has changed. Granger's different. She still twists her eyes every time I tease her with her quarrel with Weasel, but now she does it with a smile._

_“Ron…” she begins and looks at me from the side, instructively, while she trudges up the stairs and I still wonder where she actually wants to go “…is a stupid…” step “…narcistic…” step “…more ignorant…” trick step “…AAAAHH!”_

_Even if I wanted to resist it, I couldn't do anything about the laughter that breaks out of me as Granger's half body just disappears into the stairs and the fact, that she's angry at me now, doesn't make things any better._

_“I don't think_ you _should call_ other _people stupid", I press out struggling for air and wonder, if I shouldn't just let her fidget in this awkward situation for a while, but maybe I'll be a head shorter afterwards, so I take my heart and pull her out of the stairs. Actually, I would have expected at least a ‘Thank you’, but that she would just slap me in the chest and trudge on furiously, I hadn't expected that._

_“What’s your fucking problem, Granger?"  Slowly but surely she's driving me crazy. Four steps further she turns around to me again and I hate the fact, that she now literally looks down at me from above._

_“What’s my problem, Malfoy? Seriously?"_

_“I can't help it, if the fool doesn't want you", I answer her arrogantly and try to put on my gloomiest look. But the only reaction I get from Granger is a raised middle finger._

The next hour flies by because Granger tells me a lot about her education, about Potter and his wife expecting their first child, about Hogwarts, where she recently went to meet McGonagall, and about a lot of petty things. We are sailing around the subject of relationships as wonderfully as if we were proficient in it, which may well be true, at least for my part.

“And Malfoy corp. is that what makes you happy?", she tears me from my thoughts and I take a generous sip of my second beer. Answering this question is not half as easy as it should be. “It’s my father's legacy", I say, and hope she understands the hint. “It’s often exhausting and I often spend days and nights in my office, but so far I haven't managed to give up the company.” Granger nods understandingly. Of course she understands it, she has always been the type of person, who had understanding for everything and everyone. Especially for their two friends, no matter what they had achieved back then.

“Hermione? And Draco Malfoy? Well, this is a surprise. What brings you two here of all people?" Abbott suddenly stands next to us, out of nowhere, and puts her hands into her sides as she curiously looks at us. “I was just back in the warehouse for inventory", she adds, whatever she wants to tell us with this information.

“Hello Hannah, nice to see you", Granger says politely, but rather gives me the impression, that she doesn't mean a thing what she says. “How’s Neville? I just met him at Hogwarts.”

“Well, he's glad it's Christmas break today, and so am I. By the way, in an hour I'll be closing the pub, just so you know.” She looks at us curiously and I wonder what is going on in the head of the former Hufflepuff and since I find it very amusing, that Abbott is probably accusing us of an affair, I stir up the fire a little more.

“I guess we'll have to find another pub later, then. But we'll take two more of those by then.” I wave my beer bottle and amusedly watch as both Abbott's and Granger's eyes grow before Abbott makes her way to the bar.

“That was unnecessary", Granger notes and rolls her eyes, but that doesn't really impress me.

“Maybe, but it was amusing.”

“I didn't know that you were a funny person", she says frowning and with a hint of irony after a short break, but I can get around an answer, because our old schoolmate is putting the bottles in front of our noses right now.

“They’re on the house", she announces, and then lowers her voice. “Hermione, Neville told me, by the way. . . that _he's_ moved out. I'm honestly sorry it came to this. I thought, if a relationship is meant for eternity, it's yours.” She takes a creative break and I hold my breath at the same time. What's that woman talking about? But not. . . “What exactly happened with. . .”

“Thank you Hannah", Granger interrupts her and looks at the tabletop, avoiding any eye contact with us, not even noticing the pity smile on Abbott's face as she moves away.

It takes half an eternity, until I manage to say something about it, because in my head there is just the most beautiful chaos and a tiny, barely perceptible, gigantic part inside me, is just cheering triumphantly and even if I want to force this part away, I do not succeed.

“What happened?"

Only slowly does she raise her head and direct her gaze to me, and despite the sadness her eyes tell of, she smiles.

“You were right. Back then, on the Astronomy Tower. With everything.”

 

 

 

 

**_“We accept the love_ **

**_we think we deserve…”_ **

 

 

_“Say, are you stalking me?" I'm grinning. Yeah, she might be right, but I'm just gonna wave her off and sit next to her on the stone bench. She cried again, but I've been over the point for so long, to mock her about it. And she probably knows as well as I do, that we both have long ceased to be enemies._

_“Weasley is not worth a tear of you, Granger. I wonder when this will finally go inside your otherwise so clever head.” She still doesn't look at me, but wraps her arms around her bent legs and puts her head on them, while her tear-veiled look lies on the landscape below us._

_She sighs. ”Ron didn't do anything this time. He just broke up with Lavender and. . . that just. . . I don't know.”_

_I briefly stumble and let this new information take effect on me. And to be honest, I don't know how it makes me feel._

_“That took you by surprise now, after all those months in which you have wished for nothing more eagerly", I apparently hit the nail on the head, because she only makes an indefinable, agreeing sound of herself and we then do nothing else for a long time, than sit next to each other and ponder our thoughts. If anyone would see us like this, in perfect harmony here on the Astronomy Tower, they probably wouldn't believe their eyes. And certainly not, if they would see, that Granger now lets her head sink against my shoulder and I just let it happen. “I’ll tell you how it's going to go", I pick up the thread again and try not to change my position, so that it's still comfortable for her. “Weasley will realize, that you have always been the love of his life, you will be Hogwarts´ new dream couple, after school you will certainly be happy for a while until you realize, that he is the idiot he always was. And then you'll say: ‘Malfoy was right from the start'. That's the way it's gonna be.”_

_Actually, I almost expect her to slap me for these words about her beloved, but the opposite is the case, because she snorts amused._

_“I bet you, I'll never say you were right.”_

_“Oh yeah? What do we bet for?"_

_“What would you like to have?", Her voice sounds changed and questioningly I turn my head to look at her, which was a mistake, because at the same moment I am drawn into her spell by her sparkling eyes and I can hardly get away from it._

_“Stop flirting, Granger. Nobody'll believe you.”_

_“Jerk!”, she exclaims laughing._

_I'm grinning._

I knew it. I knew from the beginning, that we would end up at this point where the past would catch up with us. Even after a few embarrassing attempts, we don't manage to find our way back into a reasonable conversation and so we drink our beer silently until I throw a few coins on the table and get an accusing look from her.

“You don't have to invite me…” she begins, but I just interrupt it.

“I want it, though.”

She nods and without saying a great goodbye to Abbott, we leave the Leaky Cauldron and enter the now pitch-dark Diagon Alley. It's even colder than before and I watch Granger reducing her books with a spell to disappear them into her trouser pocket to put her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

“Well then. . . “, she says and looks at me strangely and everything in me screams literally not to be so stupid and just let her go now. I have to say something. Anything! Just what?

“Granger, wait", I stop her by grabbing her by the shoulder and turning her back to me. “I’m sorry about Weasley and you.” Maybe I'd believe the words myself, if I didn't know better.

“No ‘I told you so?'", she smiles a little and I shakes her head.

“No, we both know I was right, so I don't have to say it.” I don't know how long we just look at each other, but it seems like time is going slower than before and the seconds are stretching. Granger's voice is nothing more than a whisper, yet I hear her next words loud and clear.

“I made a mistake back then, Draco. . .”

I shake my head. “No, it was my fault, because I let it happen. . .”

 

 

 

**_“Crashing into the trembling void_ **

**_stretching my hand to you_ **

**_losing myself to frigid regret_ **

**_is this fragile love_ **

**_a way to say_ **

**_goodbye”_ **

****

 

_The last day of school. Actually, I should be happy to get out of here in a few hours. but the joy doesn't really want to set in. Granger has just received her testimony and ends up laughing in Weasels arms._

_I stare at the parchment roll in my hand and seriously try to rejoice as the testimony slowly comes to an end. In vain._

_I let myself be driven out of the Great Hall by the stream of graduates and my gaze glides over the crowd again and unerringly filters out a brown curly head. I know that I swore to stay away from her, but I cannot go without saying goodbye. I don't know how to do this without Weasley and Potter evacuating her immediately, but at least I have to try._

_I hastily make my way through the rest of the crowd and try to get into her field of vision. And it works, because it doesn't take long, until she has actually discovered me and a sceptical expression lies on her face. I just nod my head towards the stairs and make my way to the first floor in the hope, that she will follow me._

_“Don’t tell me, you're talking to me again", she says as she steps into the passage where I've been waiting for her and doesn't sound too enthusiastic. That doesn't surprise me at all, after all I have successfully ignored her for the last four weeks and noticed, that she didn't like it._

_“I wanted to say goodbye", I answer her and try to banish any emotion from my voice, which I manage more or less badly. She doesn't answer, but just stares at me as if I were a mirage as I slowly approach her. Her eyes are getting bigger and bigger and fortunately the element of surprise is on my side, because she is far too perplexed to react, when I pull her to me and kiss her for the first and last time in my life. I wish I would realize in this second, that my brain has spun something impossible together in the past weeks. That I imagined it all and now I'm going to realize, that I couldn't possibly have actually feelings for Granger, but exactly the opposite is the case. For a few seconds her lips move against mine and then it's over because I interrupt the kiss as quickly as possible, before it completely destroys me._

_Granger stares at me with big eyes and gasps for air in surprise. “Why?”, she wants to know, but I'm just shaking my head. She knows why._

_“Wrong question.”_

_She's breathing deep. “Okay. Why now, Draco?"_

_“So you don't have to make a decision", I answer her quietly as I watch her blink conspicuously many times. “Bye, Granger", I'll add and leave her behind me in the abandoned corridor._

“Sometimes”, she tears me out of my thoughts, “I wish you'd let me decide, then.” She looks at me waiting, while she chews on her lower lip and I sigh. I can't tell her, how many times I've wished for the same thing, but as beautiful as this idea is, I know it probably would have gone different, anyway.

“Would it really have made a difference?", I want to know, and she shrugs her shoulders.

“Maybe. I don't know.”

She seems so lost there in the darkness and I give in to the urge I've felt all the damn afternoon and take a step towards her to pull her into a tight embrace. All words are superfluous, while for a long time we just stand here in the cold and do nothing but hold on to each other. But at some point, a grin creeps into my face.

“You know, you can't get around your betting debts, Granger, can you?"

She detaches herself from me to such an extent that she can now look me in the face in confusion. “Betting debts? We didn't bet for anything.”

“Anyway, I won”, I say arrogantly, making her laugh.

“And… what do you have in mind?"

“Since you have deprived me of my gift purchase, you could accompany me to Blaise tomorrow, so that everyone is distracted and it is not noticeable, that I cannot put wine under the Christmas tree" I smile and laugh at her surprised face.

“As a replacement for the wine?"

“No. As. . . a date", I say. “What do you think?”

“That it's coming late", she says rebukingly, but her eyes speak a completely different language, because they sparkle amused in spite of the darkness.

“I know. But better late than never. Come on, I'll get you home. Ready?”, I ask her and allude to the side-by-side apparition and she opens her mouth in indignation and gasps for air.

“Are you still stalking me, or how do you know where I live?"

I'm smiling. “As I recall, you never had anything against it before.”

“Right”, she laughs quietly, and while we disappear with a quiet _plop_ and leave nothing but our footprints in the snow, I know that for a long time, this Christmas has finally been as it should have ever been.

 

 

 

***Finite Incantatem***

 

 


End file.
